What A Difference A Day Makes

My mom turned 65 today. She is officially a senior citizen. She gets discounts at restaurants, movie theatres, car rental companies, hotels, property taxes; she is officially enrolled in medicare;

Not much to say. Just an interesting thought for me that my mom, who definitely has never looked her age, is now recognized by most as being "old". Oh, and the song is just one that I like. Don't read too much into it.

Until next time...

Day 2

Today has been good so far. Woke up at 10. Not bad for getting to sleep, finally, around 3:30a. I've been running errands, eating every two hours, and got a jog in already. All that, and I picked up a shift at work tonight, which I am about to hop in the shower for.

It seems like the fall is when I always buckle down, reassess where I am, and get to work. It was 4 years ago now that I was feeling directionless and decided to return to school. I am doing the same soul searching now. I will post later tonight before I head to bed (hopefully much earlier than last night).

Until Next Time...

Time To Get Serious

I was considering starting a new blog to detail what I am starting now. But I realized that this blog is exactly suited to document my work.

About 9 weeks ago, I was ready to get serious about curbing my weight gain, getting back to exercising and giving myself the body I want. As you might know, (read below), I broke my arm literally two days after I started. That, along with the MOUNDS of stress from knowing if I would be able to pay my bills, left me in a depressed and sedentary frame of mind. I put on about 8-10 pounds in that time.

Well, my cast has been off for a week and a half. The arm is still healing. I need to stretch the tendons and repair my atrophied left forearm. I know I can't lift any substantial weight at this point. But tonight, I jogged. That is a less-impacting form of exercise, where the arm is concerned. I have, until I have lost 30 pounds, taken my last drink of alcohol. Water, milk and juice are the norm, for now.

My weight today is 212 lbs.

J, B, and Me

I grew up with two guys that I am still in contact with. We all met when I was in second grade. J was in 1st and B was in 3rd. We are all adults now, (damn the march of time), and are living our lives. B is married to V and lives about 10 minutes away from me. J moved out to California to finish school and now coaches at the collegiate level. J is dating K, and doesn't let a moment pass without reminding us that he is dating someone 6 years his junior. Way to go J.

Every now and again, J will come back to town, (his parents still live here) and J, B, and Me, (I know thats not correct English, but the rhyme works) will hang out. We usually start off just playing catch up with one another, and by the end of the night we are those three kids again. Except now we consume copious amounts of alcohol.

Well, J is coming in town tonight. Our night of drunken debauchery is not scheduled until tomorrow night, though. It seems funny to me that we have to put it in our Blackberry's. Ahh, the trappings of adulthood.

Well, just wanted to paint this small picture of one upcoming night in my life.

Until Next Time...

Ask Yourself This...

...have you ever watched any other News organization try so hard to defend a "journalist" and smear the person they interviewed? Read and watch here.

Fox News Channel, their hosts and special guests, try to paint Chris Wallace as a victim in his interview with President Bill Clinton. Wallace even states at one point that he felt like he was at the bottom of a mountain watching an avalanche come down.

My favorite headline in the lower third of the screen was "Bubba Boils Over". Also, one of the more brilliant comments was made by the guest in the second segment shown, where she states that Clinton reacted this way because she knew it could get him more votes.

There is a vast right wing conspiracy and thy name is Fox News.

A Ridiculous Attempt

Watch how our former chief executive handles himself when ambushed on Fox News Channel! I'm having trouble discerning....is this fair or balanced???

John Mayer's "Waiting On The World To Change"

I'm a huge fan of John Mayer. From Inside Wants Out to Room For Squares to Heavier Things, I have marveled at how this person seems to be on the same life path as myself, because he writes my life in at least one song, per album.





"Waiting On The World To Change" off of his latest album, Continuum, is the catchiest of the 12 tracks. Here's the thing, though. When you listen to the lyrics, he gives a pass to all of the listeners who would rather slack than do anything about fighting the injustices we are faced with. Youth (adolescence - 30's) is the time when you have the energy to fight and the ignorance to believe you can make a difference.

Anthems of our parents in the 60's, ("Give Peace A Chance", "If I Had A Hammer", "With God On Our Side", etc.) challenged the listener to get up and work for the better tomorrow. That was a generation that, when faced with another unnecessary and unjustified war, stood against the establishment and said, "no more!".

I know we have become desensitized to what is going on. I know it feels like we have been castrated and our entire world has been hijacked by George W.'s "Foreign Policy Gone Wild!", but when the artists stop dreaming for us and create works that mollify our ennui, our battle is close to lost.

Until Next Time...

Great Music Embedder

Hey,

Under my "Who's Visited Me Lately" World Map to your left, I put in an embedded music player. It's pretty cool and the guy singing is, too. He is Dave Barnes from Nashville. Does excellent acoustic work. Check it out. I think I will include embedded music links in posts from now on. Ya know...just to let you know what im listening to.

Peace out, bitches!

Jon McGlaughlin & 'Weeds'

I am hooked on a new song. It's called 'Indiana' by Jon McGlaughlin. It is one of those songs that speaks to my sorrowful, die-hard romantic side. I'm such a sap. But it doesn't change the fact that it's an amazing song.

Oh, and I just finished the second disc to the first season of 'Weeds'. What an amazingly written show. If you haven't seen it, you have to go out and rent it.





The dialogue is smartly written. The characterizations are brilliant. And there is a great balance of comedy to drama. Get out there and see this one. Apparently it is on Showtime, Mondays at 10pm (9 central). But just rent it on DVD or search it out on i-tunes. Because you should be watching 'Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip' Mondays at 10pm (9 central) on NBC.

A Little Research, Please!

Pride Military Pride - PASS IT ON

Here's one that will make you proud to serve!!

On 12 Jan, Ms Cindy Williams (from Laverne and Shirley TV show) wrote a piece for the Washington Times denouncing the pay raise(s) coming to service members' way this year, citing that the stated 13% wage gap was bogus.

A young airman from Hill AFB responds to her article below. He ought to get a bonus for this!

Ms. Williams:

I just had the pleasure of reading your column of 12 Jan, "Our GIs earn enough" and I am a bit confused. Frankly, I'm wondering where this vaunted over-payment is going, because as far as I can tell, it disappears every month between DFAS (The Defense Finance and Accounting Service) and my bank account. Checking my latest leave and earnings statement (LES), see that I make $1,117.80, before taxes. After taxes, I take home $ 874.20. When I run that through Windows' Calculator, I come up with an annual salary of $13,413 60 before taxes, and $10,490.40 after.

I work in the Air Force Network Control Center (AFNCC), where I am part of the team responsible for the administration of a 25,000-host computer network. I am involved with infrastructure segments, specifically with Cisco Systems equipment. A quick check under jobs for Network technicians in the Washington, D.C. area reveals a position in my career field, requiring three years experience with my job. Amazingly, this job does NOT pay $13,413.60 a year, nor does it pay less than this. No, this job is being offered at $70 000 to $80,000 per annum. I'm sure you can draw the obvious conclusions.

Also, you tout increases to Basic Allowance for Housing and Basic Allowance for Subsistence (housing and food allowances, respectively) as being a further boon to an already overcompensated force. Again, I'm curious as to where this money has gone, as BAH and BAS were both slashed 15% in the Hill AFB area effective in January 00.

Given the tenor of your column, I would assume that you have NEVER had the pleasure of serving your country in her armed forces. Before you take it upon yourself to once more castigate congressional and DOD leadership for attempting to get the families in the military's lowest pay brackets off AFDC, WIC, and food stamps, I suggest that you join a group of deploying soldiers headed for Saudi- I leave the choice of service branch up to you.

Whatever choice you make, though, opt for the SIX month rotation: it will guarantee you the longest possible time away from your family and friends, thus giving you full "deployment experience". As your group prepares to board the plane, make sure to note the spouses and children who are saying good-bye to their loved ones. Also take care to note that several families are still unsure of how they'll be able to make ends meet while the primary breadwinner is gone-obviously they've been squandering the vast piles of cash the DOD has been giving them.

Try to deploy over a major holiday; Christmas and Thanksgiving are perennial favorites. And when you're actually over there, sitting in a DFP (Defensive Fire Position, the modern-day foxhole), shivering against the cold desert night, and the flight sergeant tells you that there aren't enough people on shift to relieve you for chow, remember this: trade whatever MRE you manage to get for the tuna noodle casserole or cheese tortellini, and add Tabasco to everything.

Talk to your loved ones as often as you are permitted; it won't nearly be long enough or often enough, but take what you can get and be thankful for it. You may have picked up on the fact that I disagree with most of the points you present in your op-ed piece. But tomorrow from Sarajevo, I will defend to the death your right to say it.

You see, I am an American fighting man, a guarantor of your First Amendment rights and every other right you cherish. On a daily basis, my brother and sister soldiers worldwide ensure that you and people like you can thumb your collective nose at us, all on a salary that is nothing short of pitiful and under conditions that would make most people cringe. We hemorrhage our best and brightest into the private sector because we can't offer the stability and pay of civilian companies. And you, Ms. Williams, have the gall to say that we make more than we deserve?

Rubbish!

A1C Michael Bragg
Hill AFB AFNCC

IF YOU AGREE, PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE AND SHOW YOUR SUPPORT OF THE AMERICAN FIGHTING MEN AND WOMEN.

THANK YOU.

THIS LETTER SHOULD BE APPLAUDED BY ANYONE WHO'S EVER SERVED OR HAD A FAMILY MEMBER SERVE IN THE ARMED FORCES! THIS YOUNG MAN DESERVES A MEDAL!!!!

I recently recieved this letter on my MySpace account, via bulletin. Of course, I support our troops. I have friends that have served in both Afghanistan and Iraq as well as family that have served, including uncles, my brother-in-law and my father. It means more than I can ever express the sacrifices made by the men and women of our armed forces. Some of those sacrifices are made in the letter above.

After receiving this letter I did a little research, (and I really mean a little: e.g. typing Cindy Williams and Washington Times into the Google), to learn that the original letter was sent to Dr. Cindy Williams, senior research fellow at MIT and former assistant director for national security in the Congressional Budget Office.

Also, the Op-Ed was published in the January 12, 2000 Washington Post (not the Times) pre-dating any conflict in Kabul.

The letter has had several incarnations that, to Michael Bragg's credit, he has labored tirelessly to correct. My beef is not with Michael Bragg for having written the letter. It is with the LITERALLY thousands of people that have sent it around without having even the slightest interest in trying to ensure that what they are putting their own name on (most letters are sent, encouraging a chain mentality, including putting your own name down at the bottom before sending it on) is in fact true and accurate.

As a result of the mistaken identity tacked onto this letter in one of many of its subsequent re-writings, Cindy Williams, (the actress, not the Ph.D) has received death threats by phone and mail for something she didn't do. In fact, she has been an ardent supporter of the Armed Services and those who serve. But that doesn't matter in this letter because there is, it seems, some solace for us to believe that those in Hollywood, (even those whose hayday was in a 1970's sit-com) are so far removed from our own values that they would have the gall to write an Op-Ed in the Washington Times or Post or wherever, claiming that they know the truth and have the knowledge about how our military should be payed, or where and when they should or shouldn't be deployed, or who they will stand with outside of a ranch in Crawford, etc., etc.

If we are willing to accept as truth a chain letter that is sent to us, without even the slightest bit of research, how much other "truth" are we being fed? A Little Research, Please!

Until next time....

R.I.P. Steve Irwin

Our Australian friend, Steve Irwin, better known as the Crocodile Hunter, died today, at 11am Australian time, doing what he loved. (see link above for Time.com obituary)

It is really jarring when a cultural icon such as this dies before his time. He was a man who knew the risks of his job and celebrated those risks while respecting nature and her wild inhabitants.

Thoughts go out to Terri, Bindi Sue and Bob.

The Sun'll Come Out

I am a huge fan of rain and storms and they are coming into D/FW right now. Oh, happy day!!!

I know I've been away a while. If you read this blog with any regularity, then the above is for you. I figured, "why try to tell you what Zach Galifianakis can say so much more eloquently?".

4 Weddings....No Funeral

I have just completed the odyssey that was my summer weddings, 2006.

So that is why I have been painfully away from this blog. Fear not, though. The season is passed. Little damage done, save my liver, of course.

I will write soon about my realizations of my bachelorhood and how it should probably end soon, in my next post. Keep an eye out...it'll be great.

Until Next Time

No Responses

I can see from my tracking map that I have had a few visitors to my site. And yet, nothing I have written about has inspired anyone to comment. Kinda sucks nutz a little. Oh well, I really am writing this more for catharsis than anything else.

Until Next Time...

An Old Friend

I decided tonight to add a friend on my Myspace page. Moments later, I received a message from this friend asking where I was and what I was up to. And at this moment, I have just gotten off of a 46 minute phone call with him.

Kyle was one of my closest friends in Wichita Falls, while I was at school. I can't even explain why he meant so much to me. Our friendship was one that consisted equally of heavy nights of drinking and of deep conversations. Of sport events and movies. Of beer pong and road trips. But when I told him that I was going to be leaving Wichita Falls, our friendship came to an abrupt halt. It was one of the more saddening aspects of my time at Midwestern State University.

In our conversation, Kyle shared that he was moving to Dallas soon and that he was going to be attending UNT in the fall. The phone call broached topics of religion, politics, work, relationships and mutual admiration. Though I could probably fault Kyle for abandonment, I can't help but feel the same feeling he expressed that I attempted contact with him. I feel blessed that we spoke to one another. I feel blessed that our friendship might continue on and in a new and different direction.

Life is funny sometimes.

Until Next Time...

'cid or candy?

That's the question that was asked of me. My answer led to truly the best $20 I ever spent. I had written a short page after finishing 'Songs of the Doomed' by Hunter S. Thompson last August. I realize now that page and its' contents were so far off the mark of his experiences.

The only thing I will do differently next time is have some way to record my thoughts. Either a journal or digital voice recorder. I understand now how Aaron Sorkin was so creative with his fungi.

Another Day, Another Cell Phone

I have received my new cell phone, a replacement for the one damaged at Colin's bachelor weekend. But unfortunately, I didn't store my previous address book on the sim card, so I am having to repopulate my entire address book, anew. Live and learn.

By the way, if you ever have wanted to experience rape without the intercourse, try getting a new cell phone out of Cingular when you aren't eligible for an "upgrade". I'm currently constructing a case made of string and egg cartons for my new cell phone. No post-waterfall and P&A drinking game mishaps will happen to this one.

But Cingular was nice enough to let me move down from my current 900 minute rate plan that I have never once fully utilized. But I am losing all but 450 of my 3400+ rollover minutes. It's actually ok, because I knew I'd never use them all anyway.

Until Next Time...

Colin's Bachelor Weekend

I have been in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains for the weekend. Arrived home last night at around 7:30pm. Exhausted. And let me tell you why.

Friday
Leave out from Dallas area at around 11am. Drive will take 5 hours. Arrive for lunch in Texarkana at approximately 2pm. We are on the road and to our destination by about 4pm. Pick up house keys (Seth rented an amazing 3-bedroom house on a lake....bravo, Seth) and get to Wal-Mart to grab food for the weekend. Get to house, start up grill, (with help of "i've had one cup of wine" lady next door) and drink beer and cook brats and burgers. Attempt to play a drinking game. Finish up the evening with poker.

Saturday
Up early for a 9:48 and 9:56 tee time. The course is amazing. We walk it. I hit a new record. Only 39 over par. But hey...it was fun. We go for lunch and then to the marina to check on the boat. It's not ready. We head back to the house. I shower and we promptly start a drinking game (4:42) that lasts thru the grilling of dinner (bravo, Seth, again) and until bedtime (I think it might have almost been midnight). Only one casualty of the evening. Seth couldn't hold down my multi-shot that I made for the game. I am told that it contained scotch, bourbon, cinnamon liqueur, vodka, miller lite, and tequila. I am also told that I added a dash of tobasco and a couple of glops of barbeque sauce. (sorry Seth).

Sunday
Up early, no alarm clock needed. I feel (amazingly) fine. I start to clean the house while others are still sleeping. Make a few loud noises and abandon the effort. Come back upstairs about an hour later when I hear others waking. We clean the house and run the key back to the realtor. Drive back in to the marina (everything on this trip was approximately 30 minutes from everything else, by the way) to check on the boat. There was to be no lake trip for us this time. We pile into the van and we head back to Dallas.

All in all, a fun time was had by all. There was considerably more history between the other four in attendance among themselves (they had all gone to the same high school, though two were a couple years behind). But I enjoyed getting to meet Jeff and Nathan, both of whom are hilarious. And I think Seth did one hell of a job putting together his brothers bachelor weekend.

Ah, Pedophilia

Recently read this on the Independent Online. It's in the last couple of sentences. Made me laugh!

Work, Work, Work.

I had an incredible night at work last night. It is ridiculous to me that I make the money I make for the work that I do.

Offer Up A Thought For A Courageous Man

F.W. de Klerk is in intensive care tonight. (read here)

He is a man who stood up to the prevailing thought of a nation's ruling class and decried it the injustice that it was. This is ever more remarkable when you consider that he, himself, had participated in and propagated the same injustice for most of the decades of his life.

He is 70 years old now. His health is apparently failing. Keep him in your thoughts tonight.

What Would Jesus Do?

***This post is a day late, but not a dollar short. Thanks to blogger being down two consecutive days, my two cents were delayed.***

The big news is about the death of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. al-Zarqawi was responsible for the murder of several civilians, by beheading, bombing and other methods. I think it safe to say this was not a nice man. Our troops and the civilians that are part of the corporate carpet bagging of Iraq are now a little (just a little) safer that this man is no longer breathing air.

My problem stems from the fact that our politicians seem to be glad-handing one another and talking about the success of the mission. On more than one occasion I have heard "congratulations" given to our military for this. (Most notably, Speaker Hastert (R-IL), just yesterday)

These are the same politicians that have amassed a majority in the House and Senate based on the principles of the religious right (I'm beginning to think they are neither). And if we are living in a new theocracy, shouldn't we abide by the tenets of the judeo-christian beliefs that are being imposed across the country?

God spoke all these words, saying: I am the Lord your God,who brought you out of Egypt, from the place of slavery. (1)Do not have any other gods before Me. (2)Do not represent [such] gods by any carved statue or picture of anything in the heaven above, on the earth below, or in the water below the land. Do not bow down to [such gods] or worship them. I am God your Lord, a God who demands exclusive worship. Where My enemies are concerned, I keep in mind the sin of the fathers for [their] descendants, to the third and fourth [generation]. But for those who love Me and keep My commandments, I show love for thousands [of generations]. (3)Do not take the name of God your Lord in vain. God will not allow the one who takes His name in vain to go unpunished. (4)Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy. You can work during the six weekdays and do all your tasks. But the seventh day is a Sabbath to God your Lord. Do not do anything that constitutes work. [This includes] you, your son, your daughter, your slave, your maid, your animal, and the foreigner in your gates. It was during the six weekdays that God made the heaven, the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. God therefore blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. (5)Honor your father and mother. You will then live long on the land that God your Lord is giving you. (6)Do not commit murder. (7)Do not commit adultery. (8)Do not steal. (9)Do not testify as a false witness against your neighbor. (10)Do not be envious of your neighbor's house. Do not be envious of your neighbor's wife, his slave, his maid, his ox, his donkey, or anything else that is your neighbor's." (Exodus 20)

The ten commandments above are pretty much black and white if you proclaim yourself to be a Christian. And they don't simply apply to the individual, but also to a government made of men who want to claim the judeo-christian tenets as the foundation for their government.

If you believe in the Lord, then you realize that al-Zarqawi is a child of God. What right is it of ours, as children too, to take his life from him. God is to make judgement of us all when the time comes.

So when you see someone who you believe has a black heart and wants only harm for you, ask yourself what would Jesus do??? Would he strike him down with a might and fury that is unholy? Or would he offer his other cheek?

Richard Attenborough's Gandhi

Just watched Gandhi that I rented from blockbuster.com. (No, I don't get a kickback for that). A really well made movie. A great message. Gives hope to idealists like myself.

Watch it if you can.

Until Next Time...

Who wants to read this?

I was getting ready for bed when I decided just to look over the site-tracker information. I find it interesting that I have had people visit from Argentina, the U.K., France, Belgium and other countries.

I guess this is just a nice hello to you all. Feel free to drop a line next time.

Until Next Time...

A Declaration of Sorts...

'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness -- That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed' -- Declaration of Independence

Since those words were written, slavery has been abolished. Since those words were written, women have claimed their right as citizens. Since those words were written, we have strived to continue our nation in the spirit of the good and right and just.

Today's regurgitation of the ridiculous notion of writing into our Constitution an amendment that would castigate a segment of our society to the outer reaches is heinous, bigoted and above all hateful.

Love thy neighbor as thyself: Do not to others what thou wouldn't not wish be done to thyself: Forgive injuries. Forgive thy enemy, be reconciled to him, give him assistance, invoke God in his behalf.

Our neighbors are gay. Our neighbors are black. Our neighbors are Mexican. Our neighbors are Iraqi. Looking at this list we see people we have chosen to hate who have done nothing to slander or harm us.

Hypocrisy is rampant in our society today. We allow ourselves to be duped by this latest sham, The Marriage Amendment to protect marriage. The only threat to marriage in our society is divorce. And if the uber-right wing conservative 'Christians' really were anything other than homophobes, they would also insist on an amendment banning masturbation, infidelity, sex out of wedlock, women being allowed to stay in their homes during menstruation, the NFL, etc., etc., etc. All of these things, if allowed to happen, are abominations in the words of the Bible. But you won't see anything of that sort from them.

*The NFL reference alludes to the touching of a pig's skin on the Sabbath for anyone thoroughly confused by that one.

Is it enough just to scream, "Stop the Insanity"???

Until Next Time...

When Good Friends Go Bad

No...not a FOX Tuesday night special....just my night at work, last night.

I have a friend. Quirky? yes! Insecurity? Uh...yes, again. But on the whole he is a good guy. So I have only confusion when I try to wrap my head around his behavior last night.

For those that don't know, I am working in a restaurant. You don't work in a semi-fine dining establishment without taking the job seriously. I make a better than decent living doing what I do. The job, as with any other service job has menial tasks. The most menial in a restaurant is sidework. This is the general maintenance and upkeep of the restaurant so that you don't have to re-invent the wheel daily. In our restaurant, as in many, your sidework is completed at the end of your shift, prior to counting out your money and going home. And one person is usually relegated to checking to make sure that everything has been completed to an acceptable standard.

Last night, (we'll call him Sam), Sam was the closer checking sidework. When I checked in with him and let him know I was done with my sidework, I also asked if there was anything at all I could do for him while he took time to check those items. Rather than saying yes, he then ordered me to do another sidework. This is not protocol. You do one set of sidework and are done. On nights when there are fewer servers, you might double up on a second one. But we were staffed appropriately. Also, you don't order someone to do something. Just general manners on that one. And the thing of it is, had he asked if I could have done the second group of tasks, I would have. Because he is a friend.

After being ordered to do the second task, I told him it wasn't necessary and he said, "Who's the closer, you or me?" My response was something akin to, "Does it matter? Sign my check-out." This pissed him off and he said something about how I have to respect him. Sam, however, didn't care to reflect about his own disrespect of me, as a co-worker and a friend, when he told me that I would do the second sidework or I wouldn't get a signature.

I know this is totally a vent entry. I am so blown away by the complete about-face Sam made towards me. I was able to blow it off last night but as I am about to go in for another shift right now, I am getting angry about it again. So work will be odd tonight, I think. I know Sam and I have to work together and I know I will have no problem doing my job, which will include pre-bussing, running food, topping off waters and teas in his station. But without an apology for his behavior last night, this may be a case where a good friend went bad.

Until Next Time

The IMAX Experience

I have never been one that would ever have a problem going to a movie by myself. The way I see it, I'm not there to have a lengthy conversation. I (we) would be sitting in a dark room staring at a screen for two hours. No biggie if I'm alone or not.

Well, tonight, after several missed attempts at trying to go with one or another of my friends, I finally took off for the IMAX presentation of 'Poseidon'. I didn't really get fired up about the movie when I heard about it and saw trailers. But when I saw it was also being shown in IMAX, I thought, "this I gotta see."

I have to say that I am a Wolfgang Petersen fan. He usually puts out really entertaining and thrilling movies, (e.g., Das Boot, In The Line of Fire, Air Force One, The Perfect Storm, Troy), but this one kind of missed the mark. Not once did I find that I was holding my breath during an underwater scene (The Perfect Storm) or have a sinking feeling as you learn the true identity or motive of your bad guy (In The Line of Fire and Air Force One).

One Plus???? Richard Dreyfus' character was a gay man. Not over the top, gay. No excessive flamboyances. He just was and you only learn it after brief matter-of-fact conversation at his dinner table. Bravo to Richard Dreyfus for having the courage and the talent to lend a humanity and realism to his character.

Though I wasn't impressed by the film, (didn't expect I would be), I enjoyed it in the IMAX format. But I am looking way more forward to Superman Returns in IMAX next month.

Until Next Time

The Next Big One

I am now within two months of my 30th birthday. It's not the biggest birthday ever. Just the biggest one I've yet experienced.

Why do we subject ourselves to the painful process of contemplation. Am I who I thought I would be when I was in the sixth grade? Am I who I thought I would be senior year? Am I who I thought I would be 5 years ago? The answer, each time, is no.

In sixth grade I was going to have a degree, a career, a wife, kids, cars, house, etc., etc. By senior year, I knew that part of the above wasn't going to happen. I just needed to figure out how I was going to let my parents know they wouldn't have grandbabies from me. Five years ago I resigned myself to less of the (I won't call it a dream because it was never an aspiration, it just simply was what was going to happen) reality of my sixth grade mind.

Sure, between 25 and now I have completed my first two years of college. Before that I was a professional (definition: paid) actor/singer. Before even that I worked on the QE2 and the Viking Princess. I have lived a lot of life. It just wasn't the life that I was expecting when I was younger. And I'm O.K. with that.

But my reflection, ever moreso since my return from volunteering in New Orleans, has been on a relationship. In my adult life, I have had only two meaningful, though abbreviated, intimate relationships. They both occurred in my early twenties. I have been alone for far too long. And I wish I knew why.

I take stock often. I am not a bad looking guy. I come from a family with good genetics. I am the shortest male in the family but I have a powerful personality that can command a room. I can also shrink and be the least visible person in a room. It just depends on my mood and motivation. I consider myself overweight. I am told that I have an average build. So, maybe I have issues there. In fact, I have told myself time and again that if I work out, put on muscle, that someone will want me. Oprah did the same thing a few years back. She said a simple but brilliant statement right afterwards (and I paraphrase), "You're still you".

Add to the fact that I am exceedingly picky. I am not cocky or stuck-up at all. I can pretend I am cocky sometimes....but I laugh right after I say anything and people know it was a joke, despite my dry sense of humor. But I feel I have a right to be picky. I have seen people who settle just because they don't want to be alone anymore. That is not me, at all.

I'm not saying that my life is completely off-course. I think the greatest thing about my life so far is that I don't have a marked course. I have a life that my friends envy. My friends have lives that I envy. The grass is always greener, right? And I'm not saying that my life will be perfect if only I find someone. I'm not that naive. I'm not a 14 year old school girl, afterall. But I have had experiences and successes in my life. I just want someone to share them with and who can share their experiences and successes with me.

C'est la vie!

Until Next Time...

Who doesn't love a little insomnia?

I have always had bouts of insomnia. Ever since I can remember. I go through relatively long phases where I can fall asleep, as if on command. But the opposite of that is my agonizing, seemingly self-afflicted insomnia.

I say self-afllicted because I putter around, read, watch TV, etc., as if I was trying to do anything at all, besides sleep. For crying out loud....I almost put Ghandi (thanks Blockbuster.com), on at 2:00am. And if I had, I'd be done with it by now. I foolishly thought I'd be asleep already. But on some level, I think I knew I wouldn't be.

This blog, being typed out at 5:06am CDT, is my last diversion before I allow myself some sleep. For now, I should count myself incredibly lucky that I have a very good paying career that allows me most of my day(and night) free for insomnia and the sleep that follows.

Until Next Time...

Mothers...Everyone Knows One!

We were driving in her 2 year old 1984 Datsun/Nissan Sentra Hatchback, beige in color. I think my older brother had recently acted out against my mom and I remember how upset she was because of it. I asked her why he would do that. She replied that he was rebelling, that it was completely natural and that everyone has to go through it. But it was obvious that even armed with that knowledge, it disturbed her terribly. So I boasted that I would buck the trend. I would never rebel against her.

Fast forward two years and I am packing up my stuff and moving to Florida to live with my dad. 4th grade was a tough year for the two of us. But I grew past that and really as I entered high school we had a metamorphosis in our relationship. That strength that was shared between us has really all but disappeared since my return from New Orleans. It was AWESOME of her to offer her house until I could re-build my depleted savings. But I really have to get the fuck out.

But this time she is the one rebelling. She has had medical tests and procedures in the past few months that have totalled over $30,000 (thank god for good insurance). Rather than heed her doctors advice, (who imparted their demands to me, as well), that she eat right, exercise more, cut out sugars and STOP SMOKING, she behaves as a petulent child, making stupid justifications such as, "Well, if I'm not enjoying myself anymore, whats the point to living?" My answer usually relates to grandchildrens graduations, weddings, etc. That usually just pisses her off.

To her credit, she has worked hard to change her diet, to exercise more, cut out sugars, etc., etc. But she is still smoking. That was one component (though a major one) that her cardiologist insisted on. She thinks since she has made strides in the other areas that she can allow herself this one small vice. At least she smokes outside, I guess.

Today we went to my nephew Colin's 3rd grade graduation, (cue The Incredibles, "It's not a graduation....he's going from the third to the fourth grade", Alan paraphrases). Things were great, even with having to drive through some horrendous traffic with her. You never know what will set her off these days....but traffic can usually be counted on. We drove home after graduation. Situation still good. We decided to go to lunch. Macaroni Grill (note to self....don't ever go to Macaroni Grill with mom again). Ahhhh....music. Yes...the trigger that set her off and made her almost impossible to sit with ("that music is too loud. I won't be able to eat."....yeah, the logic is lost on me, too), was the fact that a speaker in an open-concept restaurant happened to be above the table behind us. Add in a waiter who is mumbling the special. A dash of bad eyesight. A hint of a few expletives (deleted) when I try to calm the situation. That should give you the dysfunctional cocktail I enjoyed with my lasagna.

I'm taking stock of everything now. I am paying down my debts. I am re-building my savings. With the Lord, God Almighty and a few extra thousand dollars, I should be ready to move out by the time she returns from up north.

Don't let this rant paint a picture that I don't love my mother. I do. I don't know anyone who could hate their mother....but I am sure they are out there. I love my mother. I just don't have to like her all the time.

A New Post

I have been less than faithful to this blog. I always have these great ideas to write about but just can't get my sometimes busy/sometimes lazy ass to the computer. I'm trying out a new blog.....gonna name it in a few minutes....thinking http://throw-the-bums-out.blogspot.com

I want to write about the most corrupt of the corrupt in Washington and Austin. If nothing else, maybe I can put some idle time to my political passion. I'm going to try and set up the blog now. If you get the chance...stop in and read it sometime.

Until Next Time...

The Acknowledgement of Wealth

With Fat Tuesday came the necessity for me to swear off something that I love for Lent. As it happens, my lenten sacrifice is a little more permanent than 40 days. I gave up my beloved BMW.

See, my BMW was 16 years old. I had been its' caretaker for the last 7 years. I know that whomever takes it over from me will have a good car. But it was time for a change. I bought a new car on Tuesday. It's not really new, per se. But it is new to me. I purchased a 2000 Mercedes SLK 230. Though almost a full 6 years old itself, this vehicle appears very new. Its' body styling could best be described as "classic". That distinction will help it to age very well. Very much like my BMW. The appearance of the vehicle is what leads me to the topic of today's blog entry: The Acknowledgement of Wealth.

For those of you reading this, you know that with my recent self-funded foree to New Orleans, I am far from being considered a person of wealth. But my new car purchase has gained me entry into a club I didn't even really know existed. The Wealth Club, as I think I would like to call it, is a group of people who pay no real dues (excepting of course perhaps a car payment), have no scheduled meetings, and don't even have a newsletter. But go ahead.....ask yourself...."How does Alan know this club exists? What evidence has he been privy to?" Well, I am glad you asked.

On Thursday of this week, I received my first odd salute. All salutes I have received, it should be noted, were offered to me by persons more aged than myself, as if to say, "Welcome, youngster! We are glad you made it. Now keep this hush-hush." I hope my betrayal doesn't lead to dire consequences. I've seen 'The Skulls'. (I haven't really, but it seemed funny to say something like that.) And so some don't jump in and say, "Alan, I drive a (jeep, motorcycle, mini, VW bug, etc) and other drivers in/on my car/bike wave at me all the time", it is important to note that all three salutes came from drivers of vehicles of different auto manufacturers. Their only common thread is that they are sold in the higher end market.

Anyway, Salute 1 came from a man in a Q45 Infiniti as I was pulling out of my bank parking lot. Nothing major. Just a wave and a sly grin. So subtle was the encounter that I really thought nothing of it. Just a kindly older gentleman, of my parents age. Perhaps he had thought I had yielded right-of-way to him, though I had not.

Next, and only a few hours later, was my second salute. Still subtle. But I immediately reflected back to Mr. Infiniti. I wondered could there have been a correlation? But certainty would not come to me until almost 1:00pm, this day. I pulled my car into the dealership to have it washed. I am still parking it in the driveway while I am cleaning out my side of the garage and it had rained the night before. I just wanted the water spots taken care of. When I pulled my car into the service drive, I parked immediately behind an almost identical version of my car. The only difference that I noticed was that hers was the SLK 320 and had wood grain in the cabin. This woman not only started a conversation based on the coincidence of our vehicles, but she then enlisted me, until only moments before a complete stranger, to aid her in making a decision, the outcome of which would either cost her several thousand dollars, or not. Though I have to admit the conversation came to a screeching halt, in my mind, when she confided that she loved her car so much, she wanted to keep it and get one of the new "smaller" Hummers. That could be a blog entry for another day, though.

From clandestine head nods and stealthily planned waves to an overt request for assistance in a major financial decision, it became clear to me that I had unwittingly joined The Wealth Club. But I will keep vigilant for future Acknowlegdements of Wealth. I think, much like my "Target Shoppers Unknowingly Dress In Red" observation, this one too, may have legs.

A Tangled Web

A Tangled Web

Rhetoric aside, need to get to bottom of 'Washington outsider's' uranium claim

Originally printed Sunday, July 20, 2003

Times-Record News, Wichita Falls, Texas

With all the rhetoric aside, what have we learned this past week?

George W. Bush ran for president as a self-professed "outsider" to Washington. I don't know if I would be proud of that moniker, knowing that my own father had been a president, vice-president, director of the CIA, ambassador to Beijing, permanent U.S. representative to the U.N., a member of the U.S. House of Representatives and had actually served in the armed forces. And that my grandfather had been a senator.

Despite those ties to Washington, it was a claim he made. And a lot of the voters fell for it. This is because it was fashionable in the late 1990's to assign the same venom to "them Washington types" that we once held in reserve for "them Commie reds."

The intelligence gaffe, the unwillingness to utilize any diplomacy, the laughable (if you can keep from crying) relaxations on environmental policies, the assault on the Bill of Rights perpetrated by an ingeniously named USA Patriot Act, and a tax scheme with ramifications we won't fully realize until he is not elected, again. I guess we have learned maybe it is OK to be one of "them Washington types."

I may not like the fact that my mechanic is going to charge me $900 to fix my A/C in my car, but I'm sure as hell not going to ask my dry cleaner to give it a shot.

So, what about the slip up in intelligence? Direct translation: LIE. Well, at least I hope it is a lie. Not for the politicization of the matter, but so that I might retain some confidence in an intelligence community that could let Sept. 11 happen.

If the president didn't lie, then we are at Square 1. We have intelligence agencies that have none. However, if he lied, as all evidence is suggesting, then perhaps they are capable of learning from past mistakes and they were working to keep us safe. If he lied, he has led us, unnecesarily, into a war and subsequent period of rebuilding that has destabilized the region and put the sons and daughters of our nation in harm's way. If he lied, then there are 150-plus U.S. soldiers' and countless Iraqi citizens' lives on his head. If he lied, he is guilty of a high crime and misdemeanor.

"But what evidence is suggesting he lied?", I'm sure you are asking, right? Well the lap dog journalistic community has decided it doesn't like the bones being handed it by this administration. They are, for the first time since Sept. 11, doing their jobs.

Political speeches are being taken apart word by word. Although Bush's handlers are stating that the uranium quote was a single component in our rush to war, we now know that the U.N. Inspections teams and the IAEA, led by Hans Blix and Mohammed El Baradai, respectively, effectively debunked all of our other components, prior to our attack.

On Wednesday of this past week, the FBI made public an investigation into this matter. With any luck, we'll soon be able to ask Bush where his buck stops.

Honor, Above All

HONOR, ABOVE ALL

Sacrifice only acceptable when cause is a just one
Originally printed Sunday, August 3, 2003
in the Times Record News, Wichita Falls, Texas

I was a 17 year old senior. I knew that I wanted to serve my nation and, taking the lead of my brother-in-law, whom I idolized, knew that the Army was the best.

I visited the recruiter, knowing that I wanted to be a Ranger, just like him. But my ASVAB had different plans for me. I was bound for military intelligence in the field of linguistics. And had a condition that precluded my enlistment not been discovered, that is exactly what I would have done. My service would have to be directed down another, equally important avenue.

Last Monday, I celebrated my 27th birthday. I suppose most of us do a little soul searching around that certain day of the year. So I was particularly struck when, for research purposes, I learned that the average age of the fallen soldiers in Iraq came to 26.915 years of age.

I couldn't help but think, "there but for the grace of God...". These brave men and women are in a position where they are not allowed to question orders. They are unable to hold their commander-in-chief to any account. Their sacrifice ensures that I must. This is my duty. This is my service. And I do so, in honor of them.

Two-hundred-and--fifty is a number that some believe to be an acceptable sacrifice. But therein lies the problem. It is a number. It isn't 20-year-old Spec. Christian C. Shultz from Colleyville, Texas who died on July 11. Nor is it 21-year-old Petty Officer, 3rd Class, Doyle W. Bollinger Jr. of Poteau, Okla., who died on June 6 when an unexploded piece of ordinance went off in the area he was working. It isn't Pfc. Lori Piestewa of Tuba City, Ariz., who was one of 10 who lost their lives when they were ambushed while repairing stalled vehicles that had become seperated from their supply convoy. It isn't 51-year-old 1st Sgt. Christopher D. Coffin of Bethlehem, Pa., who died when his vehicle crashed into a ditch to avoid striking a civilian vehicle.

It is a number. It is cold. And it can never accurately humanize this conflict. It is an insult to the lives and deaths of these brave men and women to say that their sacrifices, and sacrifices yet to come, are acceptable.

And that leads me to the topic of sacrifice. Sacrifice is only acceptable when the cause is just and we are defending against pure evil. You will know when we are against that evil because the sacrifice will extend back home, to all citizens of America. Our biggest sacrifice, to date, asked by this administration? Go out to dinner; see a movie; spend lots of money on this tax-free holiday weekend. Um, you mean all I have to do is buy this pair of Nikes I've been wanting and I'm helping us to win the war?

Think again.

True sacrifices were made in this country during World War II, and that was against pure evil. That was against real threats to our homeland. Before "Operation: Stir Up The Beehive Of Muslim Fundamentalism," the only verified threat to our homeland was Osama bin Laden, a man whose al-Qaida network breached our vulnerability and brought us headlong into this brave new world. The administration can't find and end this man or his network. And the only place you'll find him, lately, is on the inside back cover of the Sunday Times-Record News Op-Ed section.

You had better be certain that the cause is just when you ask our brave men and women to sacrifice the promise of youth. They are unable to hold their commander-in-chief to any account. Their sacrifice ensures that I must. This is my duty. This is my service. And I do so, in honor of them.

Life Isn't Fair

Life Isn't Fair

Unfortunately, there are times when the bad guys win

Originally printed Sunday, August 17, 2003

in the Times Record News, Wichita Falls, Texas

When the editorial board sat down last week, I had given three possibilities that I was going to write about for this week's column. What you are reading now is not one of those initial ideas.

In addition to being a student at Midwestern State University, I am also employed by the department of Housing and Residence Life as a resident assistant. This week has been one of the more challenging weeks, both mentally and physically.

My fellow RA's and I have been waking before 7 am and going through our day, almost non-stop, until as late as 10 pm, all in the effort to prepare for the worst-case scenarios that can occur in college life. And believe me, there are a lot of worst case scenarios.

Through this grueling process, our staff begins to bond, create relationships and, at times, get to their wit's end and bicker and complain. Emotions can run high.

It was when emotions were at their most fevered pitch this week that I was reintroduced to the theme of today's column: Life isn't fair.

That's right. Life isn't fair. There are times when the bad guy wins. There are times when you are not respected. There are times when you fail to respect others. It is human nature. But it occurred to me that when faced with adversity, when you learn that life isn't fiar, the easy road is to accept that fate and move on.

Or, another option is to not choose acquiescence, which soon leads to cynicism.

No. When faced with an injustice, raise your voice and be counted as against it. The other side may still win, but you will have been heard.

For 27 years, I know I have lived a lot of life. That is why I was particularly struck that I was brought face-to-face with this lesson here, in Wichita Falls. Not to say that I can't learn anything here. Quite to the contrary; I am learning daily while here. I am just surprised that such a basic lesson had been overlooked until now.

The applications of this lesson are far reaching, too. In the 1960's, life wasn't fair for the black population of this country, but they stood up to the inequality, to the injustice. And while there is still progress to be made, the distance behind is far more than the distance ahead.

The same could be said for the advancement of women in our society from second-class, subserviant behavior. Or the current "culture war" concerning the gay and lesbian citizens of the United States. All three have stood against unjust opinions and beliefs. And they are being heard by a more informed, more enlightened citizenry.

There is a line from the Broadway musical, "Ragtime" that really hits this nail on the head. Sung by Coalhouse, the lead character:

My path may lead to heaven or hell,

and God will say what's best,

but one thing He will never say

is that I went quietly to my rest.

In that line, he states that man is not accountable to man but to his higher power, alone. Where injustice is concerned, you cannot stay silent. Not for injustice against you. Not for an injustice against others. Raise your voice and be counted against it.

Who Says You Can Never Go Home Again???

Yes! That's right. I am back in the grand D/FW area. I am back in my boyhood home (oh the horror) and I am gainfully employed in the service industry, once again.

On starting at this new restaurant, I feel as though I have entered some alternate universe. There are reincarnations of many of my favorite (and some not-so-favorite) people that I have worked with in the past. It seems that my Mercury days have come to recreate themselves. Waiter Jason has been recreated in an amalgum of two of my current co-workers. One insanely smart and aware of current goings on, the other funny in a big, dumb oaf sort of way. Sean is represented by someone who is his own mirror image. He has kids but no wife. Sean, of course, has had a wife (wives) but no kids. I wonder if alternate Sean wants a wife as badly as Sean wants kids. Jennifer's double is also named Jennifer. Though I don't think Jennifer was much of a singer. But then maybe new Jennifer isn't much into fashion design.

Other personalities abound and it is slightly disconcerting how many similarities there are. So, it is a nice return to the metroplex. I feel very much at home in my new surroundings. It's almost as though I never left. That comfort always makes change that much more bearable.